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  • Jessica McQuistin

Inner Urges and Safe Outlets for Expression



Are you good at half-assing things? This skill has eluded me for as long as I can recall. Speaking of which, what's the opposite of the term half-assed anyway? I'll let you ponder that and giggle to yourself for a moment...


Ok but seriously...Whatever the opposite is, that's the type of effort I'm used to giving. And for those of us who are inclined to do things whole-heartedly -"give it our all" or "go above and beyond" - it can be challenging to give anything less than that.


The same could be said about following directions or choosing not to. Taking a friend's advice or saying "no, I don't think so". Being an obedient student or tuning out during a lesson. Some people are more inclined to follow, others to challenge or refuse or forge their own path.


Lately, I've been nourished by opportunities to put forth a half-assed effort or straight-up refuse what's being asked of me and do my own thing instead. I think somewhere deep inside we all have an independent or rebellious streak that needs to express itself every now and then. There are instances where this is too dangerous or too risky or just plain rude: Refusing to stop at a red light, not following protocol at work, or only half-listening to your partner on a date night. But finding safe outlets for this energy can be tremendously satisfying.


Inspired by this feeling, I've tried to capture it in words. I'll leave you with this for today along with some encouragement to listen to your own inner urges and find safe outlets.


give me something to ignore

give me something to refuse

an adventure of my choosing

a background for my musing


your voice is white noise

to my ear

you are the blur

to my clear


and I need you more than ever

so that I can disappear


please don't take offence

to my half-assed presence

this is all I can muster

you see, I've lost my lustre


but in this space

both far and near

i'm finding my way


so give me something to ignore

give me something to refuse

an adventure of my choosing

a background for my musing

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